Fish stories. We hear all kind. Big, small, put up a fight, the one that got away and "Honestly I really did catch it by the tail." Life is full of stores just like these. Relationships can be the same way. Stories change, diminish, grow, and catch us by surprise. My fish story did exactly that. It hooked my heart by surprise and God
showed me how a small situation was actually tremendous. I am so glad I did not let this one get away.
The other night I was on the phone with my friend/ childhood social worker during the times of abuse. We were generally talking about how things were going. Where God was leading me. Writing, blogging, reaching out to others. (by the way , Liz doesn't talk about God much any more. Kind of a captive audience situation.....) I told her about the Darkness to Light classes and she expressed how she was proud of my growth. I shared with her on how God lead me to something I thought I would never say... that I want to be a person that even a pedophile or perpetrator could come to when they finally feel convicted . Ones who said, " I have had a enough" and are truly remorseful and have real conviction for what they had done. Someone who could lead them to the right person for counseling, and to the correct authorities to handle such things. That was pretty "cool" to realize I had actually reached that point, no matter how fishy that sounded coming from me.
Our conversation went from the "ministry" side of topics to a conversation about how much I enjoy fishing. Liz asked me if that was something I did as a child. I stopped and took a deep breath when I recalled the times I did fish.
"Yes, Liz, I did. I fished in Pembroke meadows Lakes." Liz lived in Pembroke Meadows and so did the main childhood sexual abuser in my life. I fished in his back yard. Thoughts went also to Lynnhaven pier...where that same man would take me for all day fishing trips.
More memories came back to when I caught a huge catfish on a cane pole in Albemarle Sound where I, more that once woke up, already violated and drugged at this
same mans cabin.
Last night I realized that God allowed fishing to be my escape from an ugly world. I could leave everything behind me and just be there with a hook, a line and a smile. With a pole in my hand and God at my side, I found rescue. I found peace by the waterside. God met me there. It was my safe haven and safe harbor. I had no idea what the joy was all about back then. I was not aquainted with the knowledge of the Joy of the Lord. I do know I was happiest when I had those moments to reel in hope.
Liz ended that fishing part of our conversation with ,"See something good did happen through all the bad times back then." She was right. I am still learning that the Lord is, was and will be there for me.
Dueteronomy 31:6 NIV Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Now when I sit at the bank, or wade in the creek, with a pole in my hand, I meet God. I bask in the SON and He in me. I love meeting God at the pond. In little moments like these, we can take God sized sighs, enjoying His presence.
I have learned what that Joy is all about. Makes my heart sing to feel the what hope is. And when I sit with a pole on the side of the bank, I sit with God at my side and a smile on my face. When I cast I do as His word says:
1 Peter 5:7 NKJV:
casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
Dear Lord, Help us to meet You in all circumstances. Thank You Heavenly Father, to have been there for all of us even before we knew You were there. How awesome it is to know You Lord, and feel the Joy that You provide. Keep our eyes opened to see you at the "water". In Jesus Name, Amen
With this fish story, I looked and looked for the perfect song that would show God at the river. A happy song came up on the list. I couldn't help but to play this one. Happy is what I feel today. Enjoy the fun and light heartedness that God brought me too. God bless you all. "Fish" with all your can and "meet God at the pond."