I was angry at this victim of childhood sexual abuse. I remained frustrated at her for not stopping things from happening to her. I despised her for causing the other children's abuse.
I held her responsible for not making the adults hear what she was trying to tell them. Because of her, other children were destroyed sexually. Come on !!! This child knew, in time, that things were wrong. Very wrong. How dare her sit and know of the man who touched other children. I know she went to the right authorities, "in time", but what about the other times? What about when her little friend, with disabilities, who ended up in the hands of the evil one? Wasn't she to blame because, she, herself was not strong enough to yell out any louder?
How dare that child have the gut feelings about the death of another child because of what she thought a pedophile did. Couldn't she have prevented such acts? What is wrong with this so innocent looking child? This child...this...little ...child.....
I am so sorry.
I want you to know that when you were hurt- it wasn’t your fault. When men took advantage of you – it wasn’t your fault. When other children you know were hurt, abused, raped or mangled- you were not to blame. It was not your fault. (Do you hear me?) You don’t have to go through the rest of your life carrying the burden of guilt that was not yours to carry. Throw the shame far from you and walk away. Run.
The things were said about you left you believing you were worthless and unlovable. They were all lies. You cried out but were muted. You didn't get listened to but your words spoke for so many. Do not think your voice couldn't be heard. Continue to speak up as you grow. I will help you to speak on behalf of the others who have been hurt. I owe that much to you.... to us.
Jeremiah 1:6-7 NIV
6 .......“I do not know how to speak; I am too young.”
7 But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord.
You are precious. Look inside of you. The treasure that is ‘you’ is waiting to be cared. You, little one, battled with determination. I admire the fighter in you. You are a survivor. I'm sorry, "little me", for expecting you to act as an adult. I held you accountable for the lives of many. You were not an adult.
Now I am the adult. You can come to me and I will protect and help heal the broken heart I know you have had all these many years. I kept you a prisoner of depression. Could you ever forgive me for all the suffering I put you through? I shamed you leaving you with no self esteem. Forgive me for the pain I put you through. I am so sorry for the tears that streaked your innocent face. You never deserved to hide in life's closet with the evil demons I compared you with. I wish I could take back those years. Hurtful words that I spoke to you were uncalled for and unfair. I should never ever have treated you in such a way. You were just a child.
I am here for you now and will remain a safe harbor. It isn't too late for you to run and skip. You are safe. I give you permission to laugh and play and find the childhood you missed out on. Take me with you. Let's dance in the rain. Draw hearts in the sand with our names in it. Giggle. Loudly. Sing Jesus Loves me... out loud. Live with a purpose. Be free.
You are loved,
Deuteronomy 31:6 - "Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you."
Dear Lord, help us to heal. Help the children in each of us to heal.Heavenly Father, I ask you to help us speak for those who cannot. Thank you for never leaving us. In Jesus Name.
If you or someone you know is being abused in any form, I recommend prayer in addition to getting help. Reach out to someone safe who will assist you in protecting yourself. If you notice someone else who is being abused, seek guidance on how to help that person reach the proper authorities and counselors.
Please listen closely to the song I have added to this blog. Pray as you hear the call to BE A VOICE.