Monday, August 19, 2013

When I was I Child, I Talked like a Child.

"When I grow up I want to be a Ballerina." " I'm going to be a fireman just like my daddy." "I'm gonna be a race car diver." "When I get big I am gonna be an astronaut and fly to the moon." "My mommy says when I grow up I am gonna have three children just like me. She must think I am really cool."

I Corinthians 13 :11 NIV
     When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.

As I grew I didn't know what I wanted to be but I definitely began to know what I didn't want to be.

Unfortunately I saw those exact characteristics in me. Things that were the opposite of what I wanted to become had invaded me. I had to make deliberate changes.

 It wasn't going to be easy but it would be worth the efforts. I  always didn't always see  the value of those efforts. Many times I wanted to make u-turns. Going back looked easier that travelling forward. I often slammed on breaks and threw my life into reverse.

Just recently I looked in the mirror and for the very first time I liked who I was becoming. Depression  had escaped my spirit and I took joy in the reflection in the mirror. Still, I am not where I should be but much further in my growth than I had ever been.

Philippians 12: 12-14 
     Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

I rode home from a prayer group meeting and talked to God. It was just He and me. Quietness filled the car. It was one of those trips that you wonder how in the world did I get so far. I don't even remember getting from there to here. (Ever have one of those moments?)
That is exactly where I was in my life. I don't remember all the turns and detours. I just know I was almost there and it felt good getting back home.

God and I had a nice talk on the drive. I pray that I keep going in the right way, intently giving God the wheel. Past the pot holes and dead end, detours and road blocks, my desire it to head in the right direction. My goal is to reach the prize of Christ.

Are you heading in the right direction?

Heavenly Father, Thank you for caring enough to steer my life in your direction. I pray for those who I may be leading around the track, that I may steer clear of things that take us away from you. And in my life of travels, I pray that I follow the drivers that lead only to Your heavenly ways. Thank You that we all can come to You and come safely home through Jesus.
In His precious name I pray,

Tuesday, August 13, 2013


 Words... words ...words.

It seems like everyone has their ears and eyes open watching and listening to everyone else's next step. Is it that we are just plain old paranoid ? We all have our own mistakes to make.

 Have you ever asked someone to be your accountability partner? How do you react when that person, whom you answer to, reacts in an unexpected way? Do they give you the silent treatment?  Is the silence deafening? Do they lash out at you? What if your accountability partner doesn't tell you anything, but instead holds back opinions so that you draw your own negative conclusions ? Who speaks then? Your conscience? The accuser?  Do you get so totally confused you feel imprisoned by their judgement?
 Do you believe in giving people second chances?  Even though I am a person who received the seventy times seventy chances from God, I  may, too often, be quick to judge. Prayerfully I will slow down that judgement and try to see the good in people.  You don't see me kicking a person out to the curb or throw someone under the bus, as the saying goes here in these foothills, without feeling pretty darn awful about doing so. I will soon apologize and then try my best to be forgiven. Learning the hard way seems to be my way of education. I have hurt my best friends, stuck up for those same people and realized we are all imperfect.

Lately, it seems  that I am being attacked with those judgement calls. Negative vibes come from a friend who disagrees with some choices I have made. They aren't wrong. They are just different. I want to run back and change things I have done. But for what? To please that person? I get all mixed up in how I am supposed to feel. What is right? What is wrong? Who do I make angry? Who do I make cry? And when did accountability come with that silent treatment agreement? "Grrrrr !"

There is something, someone, more important to me than the approval or disapproval of people. It's God . So I have been praying to Him. "How do You want me to handle this?" "Am I doing what You want, Lord ?" "Should I walk away?" "Is this of You God?" "Do I forgive? What about forget?" "Oh God, if this is of You then why has it gotten so complicated?" "Am I at fault? "How do You want me to fix this?"  Am I to blame?" "Help me God." "Have me do what is in Your plans not mine." "Let this be about You."

Words. Words Words. It is easier to speak them than to hear them most times. But either way, I am striving to have open ended communications.

When static comes, It can't be from God. He is not the author of confusion. Satan can pick up on negative words that I share. He can use them to send wrong messages. And when I listen to him... Satan throws me a curve ball of yuck straight into my  mind.

1 Corinthians 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace...

Peace is something I need. I need it spoken into my heart and into my life. When chaos hides itself inside of me, I know it cannot be of God. So I am asking Him to bring back to me the peace and reassurance that only He can provide. And at the same time I ask him to guard my thoughts that spill out of my mouth so that I only speak Godly uplifting things to others.

Ephesians 4:29  Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen

Words. Whether I hear them or speak them, I pray that it is what God would have spoken into my life and into others.


The above blog was written about three weeks ago because of a time lapse in communication between one of my best friends and myself. Satan flooded and devoured my thoughts with negativity. I thought this friend was angry at me, unjustifyingly. I had my guards up and my heart hardened. The sad part was, she wasn't upset or angy. She never had one thought toward me that was hurtful. Instead I was hurting myself.  Before giving it a second chance, I believed the lies of Satan. Oh how much energy and time was wasted while trying to reason with the deception of the devil. If only I had trusted first in the foundation of which our friendship was built...Jesus.

Our friendship reassured itself as we held hands to pray over our lunch and thanked God for His graces. While she was was saying the blessing, God showed me His blessing with words of peace in my heart.

Heaven Father, as other times such as these arise, remind me of Your peaceful promises and help me to mute Satan. Thank You for the unexplainable peace that comes with trusting You.
In Jesus Name,

Words, words, words .....