Encouraged to Speak

I woke up this morning and on my computer read this....

Today, Mary, we believe God wants you to know that ...

encouragement is important.

Everybody needs to be encouraged, including you. Keep doing the best you can, you've got what it takes and you are going to make it. Remember to encourage others to pursue their own dreams. Build each other up, encouragement is important. 

 

1Thessalonians 5:11 NIV
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

 

 

 

 

A SPECIAL CONVERSATION:

 

 

ME: ok..here is something that sounds completely stupid.... but hey.. I can say anything to you brother...

 

I was molded..we were molded...

isnt MOLD pennicillin? It helps fight off the bad. if we let it

 

told you it would sound stupid

just my own object lesson. LOL

 

DAVID: AWesome.....God has given you insight...not stupid.....

don't berate yourself....

You are such a blessing to me and many others....

 

 

ME: Aw Shucks

 

DAVID: really...I know you..you are pushing this aside...my compliment.....don't do that..recieve it..BELIEVE IT....

God was with you...and He knew, Mary, in spite of all the evil...

you would survive ...

You would tell Your story....

 

 ME: It isn't alwasy easy to write what is actually REAL. It puts a different vision/view point/opinion... out there... different from what others see. So I appear to be this happy go lucky person. Water off a ducks back kinda person. To some.... to others I was the depressed cranky old girl who didn't give a damn (sorry). But now, I want to let others see..life happens. We all get in messes. Some worse than others, but all recoverable. (Did I just mess up what I was trying to write? I just let it flow. Grrr)

 

DAVID: I am no longer in the prison I was in... you helped me see that...your compassion.

 

ME: Freedom is good. Thank You.

 

DAVID: Yes and using those experiences to help others....

that is the key...to bring the light into darkness....

To see how much...God thinks of you...

What a special ministry He is using you  Mary..

 

ME: You make me want to cry

 

DAVID:

You have such a calling on your life....

I don't understand why God didn't stop the abuse...

BUT...

 

ME:

Me neither David. I dont have the answer for that. Not for me or for anyone else.

 

DAVID: I know that God is using you to touch so many..so many. Mary..He has chosen you to speak ...

for so many who need the love of God...

That s my desire to speak out of the pain...to use that pain to help others who are hurting....discouraged..abused...

 

ME: See this little girl?  She was my best friend. She is also the daughter of the man who was the main violator in my life.

 

(Details of this conversation has been removed) 

 

 SHE, represents the ones I speak for. Over and over again I watched her get abused.  No more details necessary. David, I wonder where she is in life. Did she go through the same patterns? Is she a survivor? Did she allow MOLD to grow on her and ruin her or did she fight for what was Godly? Is she living a life of depression, or is  she walking with her "Stop Abuse" sign in her hands and heart? Does she live for God? Was she able to find the freedom He provides? Now what, David? Now what?
Those things, things which God lets me see in my past, those things which I let take control.... Grrr.
Its that life for which I fight for now. I wish I could take back every part of the ugly. But I can't. I can only paint over it with the blood of Jesus.
I don't deserve credit David, God does. If you want to pat me on the back, I'll let ya. :).... but for me? I just want to make it one more day... and let someone else do the same. It's God. Its Jesus. It's all for HIS glory. Not mine.

 

DAVID: I want you to 'SEE"...that out of all those things...the ugly...the terrible...the nasty...the pure evil of it all..that You...Mary Hall Edwards...in spite of all the critics....all those who said you will never amount to anything....even in the moments when it would have been so easy..so easy to end it all....You have survived to tell the story and tell what God has done...is doing in your life....

 

Each life that is touched by your words...

each person who was 'thrown away"...

YOU..in Jesus name...offer hope...restoration...

LIFE....forgiveness...

even in the most terrible of times...

 

ME: Good thing to learn that we can nail it to the cross, or lay it at His feet.

Boy I could drive some nails. But I don't want Jesus to suffer the hits. He already did.. now If I could just bang the HELL out of it all.

DAVID:

yes...but to experience...that experience and what it has taught you, Mary. To love and help others...the healing you have received...the struggle you face....

but in life..this life...so many like what you have experienced...the hurt..the pain..the doubt....so many you can reach with the love of Jesus...




I had a difficult time receiving David's compliments and encouragement. I know there are areas in my life that still haunt and still hurt. "But if in talking and sharing I can erase the punishment due me ..."

Jesus Christ died on the cross to take all the suffering and shame. Deserved, undeserved, brought on, cause by, or done too.... Jesus died for it all. I can nail the ugly and help find the beauty in freedom through the Lord.

Let me speak...for them...for Him. In Jesus Name.

Do you have a story to tell that will help  yourself and others heal? Let me encourage you to share for those who need to hear. Speak through the pain. I will be praying as you do.

Remember..

Everybody needs to be encouraged, including you. Keep doing the best you can, you've got what it takes and you are going to make it. Remember to encourage others to pursue their own dreams. Build each other up, encouragement is important.