Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Unmasking the Pedophile

Parents often try and figure out what a pedophile looks like, what they think like, what they sound like, and more. But the truth of the matter is that they don’t look any different from anyone else.

Pedophile is a human being. A human being as everyone else. He could be shameless, self centered, nice, dedicated, stupid, wise, smart, boring , mentally sick or mentally healthy. He can love, hate, sacrifice himself, cry, and laugh. He can abuse children with no remorse, or be ready to sacrifice his life for them. Or anything between. Pedophile is just a human being.

A pedophile is an adult who are sexually attracted to children. Unfortunately they are very good at keeping this a secret and very good at making the child trust them. Most likely you would not suspect this person to be a predator. They are hard to detect, but with the right knowledge, you may learn to recognize one.

The following is a list of information about a pedophile:

Both men and women can be guilty. Although the majority are male, both male and female can be guilty of sexual assult.

About 25% of offenders are under the age of 18, where approximately 75% are adults.

Most children are sexually assulted by a person the child knows.

Approx . 30% child of sexual abusers are relatives

Approx. 60% are acqauintances

Approx. 10% are strangers

A pedophile looks for a child that need attention, who need love, who need to feel wanted and appear that they do not get that at home.

Pedophiles look for opportunity. They will show up to activities such as sport practices, school dances, sleep overs (slumber parties), churches, schools. They place themselves in an area of trust and easy access.

The pedophile "courts" his victim by buying gifts and/ or takes them places to make their target feel special.

Pedophiles become good listeners. They learn the weakness and strength so they know how to build self esteem of the victim and play with thier emotions.

They are more interested in children than adults.

Affectionate towards children

Pedophiles may have activities with children that parents are not invited to or involved in.

Pedophiles become more interested in the child than in the spouse or to his girlfriends child.

Identifies better with children rather than people of his own age.

One factor that works against the pedophile is that eventually the children will grow up and recall the events that occurred. Often pedophiles are not brought to justice until such time occurs and victims are angered by being victimized and want to protect other children from the same consequences.

While many persons guilty of child sexual abuse are pedophiles, not all persons who suffer from pedophilia have acted on their sexual urges toward children. Put another way, not all persons who experience the urges of pedophilia participate in pedophilic behavior.

As we become  more educated, we also grow in wisdom and hope knowing that not all thoughts need to be taken to the step of action.

"Let the wicked forsake his way. And the unrighteous man his thoughts;And let him return to the LORD,And He will have compassion on him,And to our God,For He will abundantly pardon." Isaiah 55:7 NASB

Dear Lord, Please help us to teach and reach to all who need to be aware that Satan doesn't just come as a thief in the night. Lord, educate to protect before we have to learn to heal. In Jesus Name, Amen.

 On a personal note.....
As I studied and typed, copied, pasted and wrote ...feelings came to surface that surprised me. I could have grown more angry at the parent who didn't stop these abuses from happening. Especially knowing that they knew and didn't put a stop to the ugliness and theft of innocence. But, with much prayer and counseling, I learned and chose to forgive.
Forgiving wasn't easy. It was probably one of the most difficult tasks I have had to accomplish.

Tonight, I forgive even deeper. I choose to forgive the violator. Please pray with me tonight as I lift the pedophile to the Lord.
God, I don't get it. I don't understand why children have to be hurt. You know how my heart is broken. You know, Papa God, that I get so angry inside that I want to take matters in my own hands and destroy the humans who think their desires and actions are justified when they do these horrific acts of sexual abuses to your children. Oh God, what can I do to get these feeling of hate out of my soul? My stomach hurts with memories. I don't want any child to cry themselves to sleep. It sickens me to picture times of my youth ..knowing babies and children are being touched, raped, and broken in the same way I was.. Is there anyway to erase the nightmares?
 I have forgiven the adults in my life...called parents. I have even forgiven myself..even though I wasn't to blame. But tonight. Lord, I need more. And I chose what you have instructed my heart to do. My mind might not agree, but in time, Lord, it will. I chose Lord to forgive the pedophiles.
Heavenly Father, I forgive the ones who stripped me of my dignity. I release them from my life. I don't need to hold onto their sin because of the bondage of my unforegiveness. It has only hurt me. It doesn't damage them for me to hate. It has only killed my spirit. I give them to You,
(You know God, It sickens me to think of the act of these people. Forgiving them and lifting them up has got to be one of the hardest things I can do. But I do it all in your strength. I have faith that I can do all this through you.) Forgive them Father, even when they do know what it is they do.
I lift the pedophiles and the abusers Lord to you. Help us to teach, reach, and prevent so that this prayer doesn't have to happen again.
In Jesus Name I pray,
Hurtfully Yours,



  1. You, Love, are so very strong. Thank you for writing this and just being the awesome woman you are. <3

    1. Gina, thank you but the only strength I have is through the Lord. Please pass this blog around so that we can reach teach and love in His name. I love you so much sweetie. Hug your babies,and then hug them from Mary Mary.

  2. Oh dear one, my heart aches for you...know you are being lifted to His throne...
    I'm proud of the risk you took sharing...it couldn't have been easy...

    Praying still...

    1. Cyn, thank you for lifting me up in prayers. I feel secure in knowing He cried along with me "then" and as I wrote these words. Risks are worth taking. Prayers are worth being said and speaking out is rewarding even if it was uncomfortable. God Bless you my friend. Thank you for your support and continued encouragement.