It seems like everyone has their ears and eyes open watching and listening to everyone else's next step. Is it that we are just plain old paranoid ? We all have our own mistakes to make.
Have you ever asked someone to be your accountability partner? How do you react when that person, whom you answer to, reacts in an unexpected way? Do they give you the silent treatment? Is the silence deafening? Do they lash out at you? What if your accountability partner doesn't tell you anything, but instead holds back opinions so that you draw your own negative conclusions ? Who speaks then? Your conscience? The accuser? Do you get so totally confused you feel imprisoned by their judgement?
Do you believe in giving people second chances? Even though I am a person who received the seventy times seventy chances from God, I may, too often, be quick to judge. Prayerfully I will slow down that judgement and try to see the good in people. You don't see me kicking a person out to the curb or throw someone under the bus, as the saying goes here in these foothills, without feeling pretty darn awful about doing so. I will soon apologize and then try my best to be forgiven. Learning the hard way seems to be my way of education. I have hurt my best friends, stuck up for those same people and realized we are all imperfect.
Lately, it seems that I am being attacked with those judgement calls. Negative vibes come from a friend who disagrees with some choices I have made. They aren't wrong. They are just different. I want to run back and change things I have done. But for what? To please that person? I get all mixed up in how I am supposed to feel. What is right? What is wrong? Who do I make angry? Who do I make cry? And when did accountability come with that silent treatment agreement? "Grrrrr !"
There is something, someone, more important to me than the approval or disapproval of people. It's God . So I have been praying to Him. "How do You want me to handle this?" "Am I doing what You want, Lord ?" "Should I walk away?" "Is this of You God?" "Do I forgive? What about forget?" "Oh God, if this is of You then why has it gotten so complicated?" "Am I at fault? "How do You want me to fix this?" Am I to blame?" "Help me God." "Have me do what is in Your plans not mine." "Let this be about You."
Words. Words Words. It is easier to speak them than to hear them most times. But either way, I am striving to have open ended communications.
When static comes, It can't be from God. He is not the author of confusion. Satan can pick up on negative words that I share. He can use them to send wrong messages. And when I listen to him... Satan throws me a curve ball of yuck straight into my mind.
1 Corinthians 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace...
Peace is something I need. I need it spoken into my heart and into my life. When chaos hides itself inside of me, I know it cannot be of God. So I am asking Him to bring back to me the peace and reassurance that only He can provide. And at the same time I ask him to guard my thoughts that spill out of my mouth so that I only speak Godly uplifting things to others.
|Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen
Words. Whether I hear them or speak them, I pray that it is what God would have spoken into my life and into others.
The above blog was written about three weeks ago because of a time lapse in communication between one of my best friends and myself. Satan flooded and devoured my thoughts with negativity. I thought this friend was angry at me, unjustifyingly. I had my guards up and my heart hardened. The sad part was, she wasn't upset or angy. She never had one thought toward me that was hurtful. Instead I was hurting myself. Before giving it a second chance, I believed the lies of Satan. Oh how much energy and time was wasted while trying to reason with the deception of the devil. If only I had trusted first in the foundation of which our friendship was built...Jesus.
Our friendship reassured itself as we held hands to pray over our lunch and thanked God for His graces. While she was was saying the blessing, God showed me His blessing with words of peace in my heart.
Heaven Father, as other times such as these arise, remind me of Your peaceful promises and help me to mute Satan. Thank You for the unexplainable peace that comes with trusting You.
In Jesus Name,
Words, words, words .....