I kept the light off, moved the stuffed animlas out of the folding canvas chair that was placed in the basement bedroom, in case of a bad storm, and propped my feet up on the foot stool placed akwardly in front of me. I slouched down resting my head on the back of the chair.
"Hey, did you hear about the blog I have been working on?"
The reply was a bit abrupt,"You know I don't do facebook. I am on the computer all day. The last thing I want is to be on the computer or on the phone.".
"I didn't ask you to get on face book. I just wanted to know if you heard about the blogs."
The fueding, over what I meant, went back in forth more than I anticipated. I had to keep from raising my voice into the phone to get a word in with the woman. When she, and I , finally calmed down I managed to get the question in again, "I just wanted to know if you were told what I was writing about."
"What is it Mary?"
"I'm writing a series of blog posts about childhood sexual abuse."
"What? What are you saying?"
I know I have had this conversation more than once with her about my abuse. However, I am sure I didn't tell her details. I knew of hers. She had some devestation sexual abuse situations in her family as well. I was ready to reach out to her.
"I want to share something else I am excited about." I continued." In the fall I am hoping to go to a Christian conference where I can learn to share this in a ministry.
My world about came crashing in around me as I held my breath until she was done yelling.
"Don't give me that religious crap. You know yourself that there is no God that would allow these things to happen. And you know as well as I do that there was no Jesus to save us from this. I don't want to hear about your religious garbage. Go ahead and get real with your self. Quit lying and tell your self the truth."
With my mouth hung open , I was speechless. I had no words. I was not prepared for defense. I then learned.. I have so much more to learn. Was I jumping ahead of what God had in His plans for me in sharing?
The conversation ended with a cop out phrase, "I guess we will just have to agree to disagree."
Satan was attacking. He saw my weak areas and he threw the daggers. One of them went straight to my heart, the other to my head. I began to have doubts. After all, what she said made sense, didn't it?
My wonderful friend, Annette, spoke words which rose to the occasion. "You can't just act on feelings but on the truth of God's word. " If it wasn't for faith in Him, I would be just as sad and disturbed as the woman who has no hope in this conversation. Instead, I do have hope.God didn't just sit back and watch the evil man who has self will and chose to do wicked things. Because He loved me He brought me through it.
2 Thessalonians 3:3 But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.
Psalm 138:7 New International Version
Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You preserve my life; You stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with Your right hand you save me.
So, I am back to ... Save me from the evil one? Did God do that? Was this woman right? Is there no God who saves from these wicked deeds? God wasn't speaking of the physical. He is speaking of the spiritual.
Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
When the world, satan, attacks.. if we turn to our Father, He will keep us secure in the "forever". People go through trials and tribulations, hurts and distruction. It will either make us or break us. I choose to let God be in control. I trust in His plans and purpose in my life. He allows and uses circumstances in my life to bring me closer to the Christ -likeness that He wants us to desire to be. Healing, trusting in God, brings us closer to Him. The Word
says to be humble. It is only in being humble that we realize just how much we need the Savior.
In all situations, when I needed my Savior, He rescued me. When the world leaves you battered and torn, where do you turn to recover and heal? Praying that all will know that God was there and He is there to help you in the mending.