AWAKENED

AWAKENED

The sun beat down through the window and heated the skin of my arm which propped my limp body. I was awakened, by the heat, just to remember that I was in the hands of the accuser. The car was parked in front of a brick building where wood was nailed to the window frames to keep trespassers out of the abandoned building. Exiting from the door was the man that drove me there. He carried over his arm his plaid wool jacket and carried a manilla envelope. He opened the car door and threw his items in the back seat next to me. I shut my eyes pretending to be asleep. He caught me awake stealing a glance at him. He glared at me through his review mirror with stinging eyes. We drove just a few miles when he pulled over and motioned for me to get in the front with him. Frightened, I did as directed. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to him and shoved my head to his lap. “Get Down!” as a car passed by. I had no idea where we were that day. Somewhere between Get me out of here and hell. The violator reached to the back seat and picked up the envelope. He pulled out the pamphlets and held them out to me. “Listen to what I say or this is where you will be next.” My hands trembled as I skimmed through the New York City prostitute advertisements. This was just prior to the trip that my mother allowed me to go to with the 51 year old demon controlled man. At thirteen years old, I would be going to the big city with a man who was almost a stranger, by permission of my "disturbed" mother.

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I can be riding in a car and wake from daydreams. Nightmares. Memories of moments like those. I often would slip into anxiety filled with fright, from placing myself right back into that old brown galaxy that would escort me to places of disgust. Heat not only from the sun has captured me and wakened my drifting envisioning mind, but moments that bring embarrassment would ring the alarm of my inner child.

What Satan had given me in nightmares, God has used as a tool in healing. I waken less and less with fear of  not knowing where to run, where to hide, or where to escape the pain. I am now waking in Him and He in me. It is a process. Active. Day by day... works through prayer. God lets me remember, and He also lets me know I am safe. I am no longer that scared child being demanded by Satan to “Get Down!”. I find strength and am encouraged by His Word.”Stand”.

1 Corinthians 16:13 …..stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.

I am awake with knowledge and protection of my Heavenly Father. I am not where I used to be. But through the Father I am now, somewhere between Get me out of here and Heaven. The road less traveled. The road on which I am now awake in Him.

Heavenly Father, I pray for healing, grace and deep comfort for those who have been hurt through any form of abuse. Restore and rebuild what sometimes seems unrepairable. Give us courage, Lord, to take the right road that leads to You.  Thank You for reminding us that although life may be hard, You remain Good. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen

 

 

LIFE IS HARD (BUT GOD IS GOOD)